I seem to have this problem where I will push myself really freaking hard, and then I get exhausted, 

am burnt out for a few days or so and then I repeat the cycle all over again. 

I'm really trying to work on this although I am not completely sure how I'm going to break it.

I just keep trying. Learning through trial and error. Trying to create systems that work for me etc.

And like chat Gpt said this morning "structure without the straitjacket"

I literally love the way they worded this so much because yesssssssssssssssssssssss!!!!!

 

Part of my problem is that with having chronic pain and chronic illnesses, 

I never know from day to day how I am going to actually feel.

So when I do have good days, I want to take full advantage of it!!!

And after truly not having any boundaries for years, I'm learning them. And my body!

 

It feels good to be in a place where I can fully trust the timing of my life.

Where I know that even on the days I am just existing, existing is enough!

Honestly, it's more than enough! Because some people choose to give up on tomorrow.

I know, I was one of those people. I had a plan. A way out. 

So simply being able to exist went from a burden to a blessing in disguise. 

 

Now I trust the days I'm barely existing because even on those days, I chose to stay!

That's no little thing. THAT IS HUGGGGGGGGGE!!!!! 

 

So please know, that even if you are just existing today... 

That is more than enough and I am so proud of you!

I want you to stay. So please, stay another day.