When Reality Hits You in the Freezer
Today I opened my freezer and the reality finally hit me.
We are one of the families affected by losing food stamps this month.
I haven’t been able to work a full-time job since 2022 because of chronic pain,
surgeries that keep getting postponed, and my body simply not cooperating.
I applied for disability and I’m working with an attorney, but disability is a process — and a slow one.
So, I started my own business.I create content.I write this blog.I make art.I show up online and do what I can, when I can.
But so far… it hasn’t been enough to cover the bills and make ends meet.
And I’ve been avoiding the truth of that.
Not because I’m in denial, but because I know there are people who have it worse.
Because we’ve had people offer to help.Because there’s a local Facebook group full of resources.
I avoided asking for help because I don’t ever want someone to give from an empty cup
— especially when I know life is hard for everyone right now.
And honestly… asking for help triggers all that “I should be able to handle this” shame.
I don’t have a vehicle, and haven’t for 3–4 years. I have my license, but I also know my limits.
When exhaustion hits, it hits. I’ve fallen asleep behind the wheel before.
And I won’t risk my life — or someone else’s — just to convince the world I’m “trying hard enough.”
Back to the freezer.
I opened the door, and staring back at me was:
one package of chicken
one package of hot dogs
And I just stood there.Frozen.Eyes burning.
That moment hit differently.
Sure, we have pasta.We have nuggets and chicken patties.But when you see
only two actual proteins left and no way to just "go get more," something in your chest caves in.
This is the first time in a long time that I’ve had to wonder where our next meals are coming from.
And what hurts the most is —it’s not for lack of trying.
I started my business because I knew government help isn’t guaranteed.I knew disability would be an uphill battle.
It's not that I don’t want to work .I just don’t know a job that’s okay with
“I can work when my body allows… and not when it doesn’t.”
That’s not a disability-friendly world.
That’s a system built on ableism wrapped in inspirational posters.
And here’s the truth people don’t talk about:
Not everyone on assistance is “taking advantage of the system.”
Not everyone receiving help is lazy.
Some of us are fighting battles people don’t see.
Some of us are climbing out of holes we didn’t dig.
The system is broken — not the people trying to survive inside it.
Because here’s the kicker:
The people without food stamps have been struggling for months.
Now, those of us who relied on food stamps are joining them.
So instead of turning on each other, instead of saying
“must be nice” or “you should just try harder,”
what if we just…held space for each other?
We are not each other's enemy.
Life is messy right now — for damn near everyone.
Even the people who look like they have it together are quietly falling apart.
This morning someone messaged me and literally wanted to pay me to be their friend.
If that doesn’t scream how lonely this world has become, I don’t know what does.
A little compassion goes a long way. A little humanity goes even further.
Let’s stop assuming. Let’s stop judging. Let’s stop competing over who has it worse.
What if we just held space for each other’s truth, even when it’s different from our own?
We need softer hearts and stronger communities.
Open your eyes. Open your heart.
Open your hands if you’re able.
Because right now?
We don’t need more opinions.
We need more compassion.
We don’t need more shame.
We need more understanding.
We don’t need more division.
We need each other.
Journal Prompt
What keeps you from holding space for someone else’s truth right now?
How can you open your heart to see them more clearly — without comparison or judgment?