Here’s the thing I don’t think gets talked about
enough when it comes to intent.
Intent may not always change how something impacts us
— and impact still matters.
But that doesn’t mean intent is irrelevant.
Both can be true at the same time.
Think about it for a moment.
You’re put into a deeply uncomfortable situation.
You might have two outwardly similar responses
(there are more, but for the sake of simplicity):
- You stay silent to preserve what little energy you have left.
- You stay silent to protect leverage, control outcomes, or manage the future.
Same behavior. Completely different intention.
This isn’t a battle of right and wrong — that’s not for me to decide for you. Your morals are yours, and mine are mine. There’s no argument there.
But assuming someone’s intent
when you don’t actually know it?
That’s where things become dangerous.
Because assumptions aren’t facts — they’re stories.
I’ll use my own life as an example, because I don’t mind being examined through the lens of my own truth.
I haven’t been able to work a “normal” job since 2022.
From the outside, someone might assume I’m lazy. Or spoiled. Or that I just want to be taken care of.
From the inside, I’m choosing to care for my physical and mental health so I can remain here for the long haul.
And just to be clear — if I were lazy or simply looking to be taken care of, I wouldn’t have built my own business from the ground up. I wouldn’t work when I’m able, create when I have the capacity, or keep showing up in the ways that I can.
My life doesn’t look traditional — but it is intentional.
And that’s exactly why this matters to me
— because this isn’t who I am.
I’m not lazy. I don’t want to be taken care of.
I’m actually deeply independent by nature.
The reality I’m surviving right now
contradicts my identity, not my values.
And choosing to move intentionally within these limits is the only way I can stay aligned with who I actually am while still honoring these new limitations.
Those two perceptions can exist at the same time
— but they are not equally informed.
You can’t argue with my reality just because
your perception looks different.
And I can’t argue with your perception either.
That doesn’t make you right and me wrong.
It doesn’t make me right and you wrong.
It simply means we are operating from different experiences.
And experience matters — especially when we’re tempted to assume intent instead of staying curious.
Maybe instead of assuming intent, we get curious about it.
Because the truth is, most of us are doing the best we can with the information and capacity we have in the moment.
And curiosity leaves more room for understanding
than certainty ever will.
If this resonates, I invite you to sit with it.
Where do you assume intent instead of asking questions
— about others, or about yourself?
There’s more to unpack here than a single reaction
or response ever could explain.
Where can you grow with intent?